Admissions Essay #2: Difficult Times

Prompt: What is one of the most difficult things you have ever done or experienced? What made it difficult and what did you learn? (250 words maximum)

Essay: Without a doubt, the most difficult period of my life was when I suffered from daily seizures. I was 14 years old and a freshman in high school when I began experiencing constant excruciating nerve pain that caused numbness throughout my entire body, daily migraines, sensitivity to all light and sounds, and worst of all, multiple seizures a day. Before I found a way to control the nerve pain with physical therapy and medication, I was unable to attend school, walk without help, watch tv, work on the computer, go outside, drive, or even control my bladder. Years later, I have found a way to control my nerve pain and eliminate my seizures; but if there is one thing that the situation has taught me, it’s that I have the ability to inspire others.

I’ve been told my entire life that I have always been an example to others, but before getting deathly ill, I never realized the good I could do for people. I’ve learned that I want to make a difference in the world by sharing my story. I want to become a broadcast journalist to use the skills I’ve learned and inspire others to be good examples all over the world. 

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2 thoughts on “Admissions Essay #2: Difficult Times

  1. 1. You have this habit of rewriting the prompt in the first sentence of the essay. I know a lot of teachers require that in the intro, but it makes for a very boring start. They know what they’re reading about. Try something more gripping, like describing your symptoms straight off. I.E. “My entire body was numb and my head ached constantly. Lights and sounds provoked more pain. Seizures hit me a few times a day. I could barely walk without help or do anything but sit in the dark. This was my life during my freshman year of high school and was, without a doubt, the most difficult thing I’ve been through.”
    2. Put yourself in the perspective of an admissions counselor. They’re reading dozens of these per day. It feels like you’re listing facts, would be a hard thing to pay attention to after reading a ton of other essays that day. Look at it more as a chance to tell your story.
    3. You don’t need to restate that you want to be a broadcast journalist if you literally just mentioned it in the last essay. The same person will probably be reading all of these!

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