Prompt: Tell us anything else you want us to know about yourself that you haven’t had the opportunity to describe elsewhere in the application. Include any special circumstances, experiences, etc. that could influence your admission to the university. (250 words maximum)
Essay: When I was 14 years old I fell seriously ill and I was unable to continue my education in the traditional fashion. I was diagnosed as having a nerve plexus that developed into Chronic Regional Pain Syndrome with seizures. My pain was so intense that I was having three seizures a day and I was unable to even open my eyes on many days. Instead of going to high school for six periods a day, I was only able to attend two classes, three times a week at best for a few years before I ended up leaving the traditional form of high school altogether. The reason there is a small gap in my high school and seminary education is because I did most of my schooling at home using nontraditional methods. I spent many months as an inpatient in several different children’s hospitals and I used the hospital tutoring staff and workbooks to keep my mind alert. When I was released in to the world on my own, I enrolled part time in community college because I have the goal of becoming a broadcast journalist. I have always loved education, and I can’t wait to be able to share it with the world. The reason that I feel this is important to share is because I have a very strong passion not just for broadcast journalism, but for education. I want the admissions staff at BYU to know that I am very dedicated to learning and education.
Prompt: Many students apply to more than one church school. What will determine which you attend? Please be specific. (250 words maximum)
Essay: I have applied to one university and one university only. I want to attend BYU Provo because I want to become a broadcast journalist rooted in ethics. I have heard that BYU Provo has one of the best broadcast journalism programs in the nation. I want to participate in sharing the news through Eleven News for BYU students. Whenever I imagine attending BYU Provo, my heart just sings. I know it’s where I’m supposed to be. I want to go into a difficult field, and I know that BYU will equip me with the necessary skills to be an honest and moral broadcast journalist.
Another reason that I want to attend BYU Provo is because my husband is studying to become a mechanical engineer and loves the program that BYU offers. BYU Provo offers the programs that both my husband and I need to take and will surround our family with the spirit. We are both ecstatic just thinking about BYU Provo!
Prompt: What is one of the most difficult things you have ever done or experienced? What made it difficult and what did you learn? (250 words maximum)
Essay: Without a doubt, the most difficult period of my life was when I suffered from daily seizures. I was 14 years old and a freshman in high school when I began experiencing constant excruciating nerve pain that caused numbness throughout my entire body, daily migraines, sensitivity to all light and sounds, and worst of all, multiple seizures a day. Before I found a way to control the nerve pain with physical therapy and medication, I was unable to attend school, walk without help, watch tv, work on the computer, go outside, drive, or even control my bladder. Years later, I have found a way to control my nerve pain and eliminate my seizures; but if there is one thing that the situation has taught me, it’s that I have the ability to inspire others.
I’ve been told my entire life that I have always been an example to others, but before getting deathly ill, I never realized the good I could do for people. I’ve learned that I want to make a difference in the world by sharing my story. I want to become a broadcast journalist to use the skills I’ve learned and inspire others to be good examples all over the world.
Prompt: Select two characteristics from the list that you strongly demonstrate. Using specific examples, explain why you chose these characteristics and how you exhibit them in your life (250 words maximum).
- Positive influence and leadership abilities
- Ambitious and goal oriented
Essay: A person who is a positive influence with great leadership abilities should be able to facilitate, motivate, and make sure that everyone feels included. People with positive attitudes make the best leaders because their influence is infectious.
Several months ago, I was bestowed with a wonderful compliment when the Seattle Seahawks football team visited Vancouver, WA. The company that I worked for hosted the Seattle Seahawks’ community party. I was handpicked out of the hundreds of employees to be the face of the company and to personally assist the team. The CEO told me that I was chosen because I am a positive person and a great leader.
Being ambitious and goal oriented can help you to navigate through difficult situations. I believe having goals and drive are the most important factors in becoming someone great.
When I started having seizures at age 14, I had to drop out of high school. I know that my ambitions and goal to learn pushed me to continue my education with home studies. I asked my seminary teacher for a seminary manual and I spent months doing Book of Mormon studies on my own. When I was released from inpatient care at the hospital, I enrolled in part time community college where I’ve worked with steadfastness to become educated despite my setbacks. My ultimate goal, to become a broadcast journalist, has given me drive. My ambitions have shaped who I am. I know that I will become someone great with a BYU education.
For those of you that actually know me, you know that I’ve been eagerly anticipating the arrival of my acceptance letter to the university of my dreams! I’m all ready to pack up and move 800 miles in three months time. But here’s the issue… I can’t seem to get my admissions essays PERFECT. In other words, I haven’t even applied to my dream school yet. The deadline for my application is in three weeks on September 30th. So, as you can see, I’m in a pickle. I need constructive criticism on my short essays. I’ll post them (and wait for the massive corrections that are sure to come) individually on separate blog posts. Thanks for your help in advance. 🙂